Citation Needed

Sometimes I just sit and do nothing. I think nothing. I say nothing. Time doesn’t seem to pass. My body is quiet. I’d say it’s peaceful, but it’s not even that. It’s just nothing. And then something happens to disrupt the nothing, a sound intrudes or a wayward thought passes through my brain, and the moment passes. It’s an odd occurrence, but I appreciate them. Sometimes it’s nice in all this doing to simply stop.

I mentioned before that I’ve taken a new approach to my tv show idea, and what I’d planned to be two episodes now happens in just one. And contemplating that has put the whole thing into a new perspective. I’m rethinking everything. Occasionally I wonder if I’ll ever actually finish this project. Then I realize that maybe that would be okay. Maybe it’s the work that’s valuable, not the end product.

This is an interesting time for creatives. The internet makes it possible for writing, music, artwork, and videos to be published without any oversight. This means that there’s a lot of crap out there. It also means that finding content you like is more difficult than ever.

It also means that the emphasis for a lot of people — YouTubers, especially — has moved from a singular product to constantly creating things. It’s the Grind. If you’re on YouTube or TikTok, you can never stop making things because you’re only as good as the last thing you released. The audience demand for more content is ceaseless and troublesome. And I’m absolutely part of the problem. I follow many YouTubers and I always want more. It has to be exhausting to never rest, to always be thinking about the next thing.

At the same time, if you love to create, then you’re at the perfect time in history. I had an idea for a YouTube channel in which each week I’d take a random word and really dive deep into its history and usage. This is something I’m personally interested in, so I hoped I’d find an audience of like minds. But at some point I realized how much work it would be and I turned myself off the idea. I’d be doing a lot of research, writing a script, recording the narration, and producing the video, all on a weekly cadence. For free, no less. And with no idea if it was even an idea worth pursuing.

This is why I don’t have a Patreon for the creative things I’m trying to do. I just can’t justify asking for money for something nobody asked for. It’s not that I think my work has no value, it’s more that I’ve realized how niche my interests are and there are surely people out there doing it better.

What I’m reading

So, I’ve given up on ‘House of Leaves’. I’ve put it into the little borrowing library structure outside my next-door neighbor’s house. Someone else will love it. I’m moving on to something less difficult, less ergodic. In that same library I found this:

Published in 1959, the back cover reads only ‘The Earth is chill… only a small artificial sun, renewed every five years, stands between mankind and utter extinction.’ And that’s it! It could not be simpler. And that’s totally refreshing. I can’t wait to dive into this and absorb the kind of writing you just don’t get anymore.

I’m also now fully caught-up with ‘Critical Role’, the online series featuring eight voice actors playing D&D. It took me a while; they’re on Episode 78, and each one is over four hours long. Did I watch ALL of that? Hell no. I watched 20-30 minute YouTube summaries until I got caught up. But I did watch the entirety of the most recent episode, and it went by a lot quicker than I thought. And now I’m up to date and awaiting the next episode.

And that’s it for one more week of fun. If you haven’t seen it yet, over on ComicsBreakdown.com I’ve just finished up ‘UNEARTHED: Elric: The Dreaming City’. Worth a look. Coming up next: the graphic novel for Jim Starlin’s ‘Dreadstar’. Gonna be a weird one. Rest up, take time for yourself, and don’t take any ticking nickels.

Here’s your reality check: Can This Teacher Guess What Language People Are Speaking?